About Me

Delhi, India
A no-one moving towards no mind

Monday, 14 August 2023

ITS A DIFFRENT WORLD OUT THERE





 Day 2, SEA SHELL BAR, HAVELOK ISLANDS,  ANDAMAN

 

 I am  in an awesome bar located right in midst of palm  trees  next  to the beach, and there   is only  one  couple in  the bar besides me with   Boney M’s  ”Dancing Queen” playing in background.

 

First things first, after I got posted to Delhi the idea of visiting Port Blair  germinated and with Jo Sir, Brig Harish Joshi , there ,or should I say here now,  coupled  with government  giving you LTC(Leave Travel Concession) there could not  be a better time.  So I planned and booked my tickets in advance.  Though  none of  my friends could join me so  this  one  happens to be my  first vacation  alone but I  am not  regretting it. The beauty of the place, the  crystal clear beaches make you  forget everything.

 

I suffer from  this perpetual  problem of sleeping late, and very late in case next day I am travelling  so I left my place in Delhi at 3:45 AM after going to sleep at 2 AM just to make sure that I  stay  groggy at the airport and don’t break the jinx.

 

 Anyhow once again  I cursed myself for doing so and slept through the flight.

 

The islands arrived and I was taken aback with the temp of 28o C at 9:30 AM. , when it was still cold in Delhi. I was carrying a jacket which was to be made fun of later.  Jo Sir was there at the airport to receive me , dapper as always  but now with salt & pepper hair .  We hugged and soon I was vomiting all the details of my recent life.  In between he kept on feeding me with small details like Andaman & Nicobar Islands being a group of 500 odd islands (Wow!) out of which only 35-40 are inhabited.  Most interesting ones , for a soldier ,was the fact about the bunkers the Japs had built all around the place when they stayed here for three years  in WW II. Other interesting fact  was  the  complete UT  (Union Territory) is on generators fr electricity, guzzling tons   of diesel every day.  Imagine a whole city’s electricity on generators,  subsidized so that these islands stay inhabited by Indians.  

 

Though I was sleepy in the afternoon  we  went to a place called  Chidiyatapu, Jo had scheduled it, via Marine  Drive,  Army golf course and the main beach of Port Blair, the name I still don’t recollect. The Army is good in building golf courses everywhere and this one has the only link course which means that there is sea between any two holes.(  Naughty minds to be at bay).

 

        The beaches in Port Blair had warning signs  of presence of crocodiles.  Crocodiles in sea, well it  is true and that’s why probably  this place was called Kalapani,during British rule

 

The beach in Chidiyatapu was beautiful with water cleaner  than that in a swimming pool.  Beer and Biryani was on  the itinerary and after a late lunch we drove to back to catch forty winks. Evening was a laid  back one, the one we all love, with  drinks at the local  Defence  Club. We wound up relatively early after paying homage to the other Sunny  , who made India proud recently.

 

Next day I was packed and ready early. I had dreamt of someone, from the past, and rains probably because Jo sir was telling me last night that  it has not rained hence the water is going to be crystal clear .I boarded the Govt yatch to  Havelok lugging my rucksack and soon  we took off.

 

The water was green at near distance but very clear and blue at a distance, changing colours , so much  for the refraction part of it or the beauty of nature , I thought loud.   Leave beside seeing I hadn’t  even imagined clearer beaches than these.

 

 I ventured upto the  Captain’s cabin, something  that I believe you can not do in famous Mackruze ride. The Captain turned out to be an ex navy  guy settled in Gurgaon he was a tad bit surprised to find me alone . I was wondering what  a sea change would be for this guy to go back to Gurgaon, the millennium city with all the chaos and back to this place often. I   enjoyed the beauty of sail from the dock and later settled for a   nap. Landed in Havelock two and a half hours later and it was heavenly in every sense of the word.

 

Soon  I settled down as the resort was quite nearto jetty. I  managed tea, breakfast  and a scooter  and moved to recce  Vijayanagar   side  of Havelock.  The only road  is  more or less  like a horse shoe with a tail end joining the jetty. I was mesmerized  with the ride and settled down to beach number five.  Beaches  supposedly have numbers here for  example, the resort where I am staying is beach number two.

 

        As soon I entered the beach voila, I saw  saw mermaids all over. Took  a dip amongst them  and then tried to  look cool by opening a book with Vodka (hip flask is one of biggest invention for  the guys like us).   I chatted with an Isareli mermaid  who was quick to  point out that she is with her boyfriend.  So much for  my initiative, I thought.  Soon I got back to Vodka & Abida Parveen.

 

Later a group of Isaraelis  joined  me who were having Kingfisher strong  and Bagpiper whiskey shots with gold flake small , living it up  after conscription .

 

Had the lesson  for the day  that one should not  sit  under  a coconut tree  on a beach or anywhere as coconuts do drop. This one missed me by a whisker

 

.Surprisingly enough  I learnt to float, for the first time in my life . I guess it was the  excess salt in the water as my body type does not permit  too much floating. What  a joy it was to be able to float and stare at the blue sky, glares help of course. Lunch was at Wild Orchid ,a Red Snapper platter and I had to head back to my room for a snooze.

   

Woke up in the evening and decided that I have to clear my head of vodka , cigarettes and Isaraeli mermaids so, decided to go for a jog .Nothing works better to clear your head.  The jog  was on  the beach which, because of  low tide looked devastated , beautiful like an old  beautiful woman .  The pleasured jog was  cut short  because of dogs on the beach which  Dulal , the owner at the resort, told me later  bark only at Indians and not foreigners . Nobody knows why ,some racism  these dogs practise, I wonder.

 

Another highlight  of the day was clicking  a live octopus, which the guy in the resort had  somehow caught.  A drive to the local market in the evening  on the scooty  to have  the single  egg rolls  at the market to satiate the  urge that I have developed  due to regular egg rolls  at  Satya Niketan after the gym .

 

        And now it is VAT 69, which is pretty cheap here, only 100 Rs for a small  which is  being compensated by the VAT in the  hip flask.  I love the guy who made hip flask.   Tomorrow is another day of introspection , as Jo Sir puts it, I am on four days of introspection, while scuba diving and ZNMD, Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara , time.

 

P.S. Bharat the bar guy who played Boney M , chatted with me and later on request played country with the closing song being “You pick a  fine time to  leave me Lucille,  with 400 children ( very late in life  I realized it was 4 hungry children and all these years it was 400  for me ) and a crop in the field”.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

DAY 3 ITS  REALLY A DIFFERENT WORLD OUT THERE  , MUNJOH ON A FRND ‘S RECOMMENDATION(HIP FLASK STILL LIVES)

 

 

 Woke up fresh in the morning  excited as a child to  hit the beach.  The place was nearby and I could see some Indian fucking tourist also before me.  Anyhow I changed fast and attended a five minute theory class which was to be followed ten minutes class in water.  The water was amazing and there   was a mermaid too.  

 

Anyhow I was quick to get into water, like always, and practice my newly learnt floating.  It’s amazing to gaze at the sky while floating.  The Andaman beach are custom built for scuba  diving and snorkelling.  Crystal clear  beaches with no waves apart from Radhanagar beach, which I discovered later.  I was enjoying myself in the water and waiting for my turn when I thought of practicing snorkeling on my own since  I was carrying a set , given by Jo sir   I asked for the  errand boy to get my bag and took out the set given by Jo, and soon I was snorkeling and it was a nice feeling to have these small fishes move  around you and being with them in clear water.  After about five ten  minutes of it I heard some  noise and  I saw a guy waving at me.  My  turn had come.

 

I guess I have had  enthusiasm  written  on my forehead (remember  Tom Cruise in Cocktail) I was given just two minutes of trial and just a dip to practice breathing and the guide said I was ready to go.  Initially  the breathing was erratic but I soon got the hang of it.

 

Here we go, I thought when the guide took me for diving.  He  accompanies you throughout.  The initial reaction was ecstatic.  It was amazing  with those fishes in all colours, transparent, opaque, transluscent  moving around me. I saw minuscule mounds of sand which resembled tiny volcanoes sometimes erupting.  Fishes appears and vanish around you as you go deeper.  The  whole sight  is colourful, all the fishes, look different, some cute, some naughty, some menancing; looking at you trying to question your existence in their world. Slowly  we moved from warm to cold water towards the reef  and deeper.

 

I was, as  if in a trance  seeing  things unknown to me earlier ,the corals, and things moving in them  some just like them with their colour and shape ,some different. I have no idea  besides the fact that it was heavenly.  It was a different world out there.  The flight of fancy continued and I  had to squeeze my nose and push  air out through ears to equalize the pressure  time and again as we  went deeper.  The guide  was good in continuously pointing to  everything beautiful around us. He once pointed towards a  thing with jelly tentacles and made me touch it, it  initially for a split second it stuck to hand then like “touch me not “ recoiled .He later  told me that it was home of Nemo.

 

We had facebook  moments  also when he made me stand next a rock and took pictures and a video.  Sometime he would let me alone  but kept pointing a hole at me, sign to say everything   good.

 

He did the tentacles jelly thing  again and since I was ready for it it was  amazing.  All this was happening eight  metres down in the sea .I did try to look up to guess how deep we were but couldn’t guess as  the water was very deep.  We stayed down for about fifty minutes, you come  to know that  you are out of reef when you feel the change in temperature of water .While  I was down and still reeling  under the after effects I could think that  only one thing can come close to this high and  that would be  jumping from the sky, which apparently is next on the agenda.

 

I came out of  water, I bathed in the sun and the experience for some time- and later hit the water again.

 

My camera went kaput , yet again, and  I thought of going to market to eat something  . When   I went to their office I realized it was only  thousand rupees more for extra  dive  on same day and  pronto I booked myself for that .My  brunch was  two egg rolls and I was back to the diving centre for the second  dive.

 

Second dive lasted for  about forty 40 minute this water had some dust and my suit was little tight but again it was an amazing experience.  Seeing my enthusiasm   he , the guide ,took me to fifteen metres depth which  is normally not allowed and I really had to keep pinching my nose, very often, to maintain the pressure and when we were done we had to take a safety break at 2- 3 m depth to  get the nitrogen   out of our body which is required to be done when you go  really deep.  

 

After  second dive I was so tired that I skipped  lunch and went to sleep because I wanted to see the  sunset at Radhasagar beach.  I woke up in time and   drove to Radhasagar, beach number  seven, which has been voted as the best beach in Asia.  I reached in time the  sun was setting and the beauty of the beach with the setting sun was spell bounding.  I was  numbed, just sat there and later lied down on the white sand to savour the experience of sun producing various hues of colour in the sky. Its pristine beauty of white beach with waves hitting it at regular intervals unlike other beaches of Havelok that I had seen so far.  After the sunset , which was captured on my phone I took a walk on beach. In the distance in the sky a  maverick  had left his mark.  The walk was soothing so was the sight a two years old kid playing in the sand with his doting dad capturing all the moves on a camcorder.

 

After the walk tried to have food in  Bare Foot Resort which is  nestled  deep in  jungles, well preserved but since  these guys did not take card had to go back  and do with  a lousy veg sandwich.

 

Dinner on reference  was at Munjoh , whose  board almost read like Munich. The  ponytail   guy was kind enough to allow me to drink from the  hip flask , food was tantalizing and  so was the clear sky  when  I drove back to my room after dinner.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

DAY 4 EL DORADO AND THE MERMAIDS

 

Day began with a short drive to the jetty after applying little sunscreen  and arranging for a snorkeling trip to Elephant  beach.  After  a wait of an hour we took off to Elephant beach where water was again very clean, an obvious requirement for snorkelling.

 

I was ready before  everyone  else and required no lessons  but before we went for  snorkelling  there was  this that ride in a glass bottom  boat which would give us a exquisite view of the corals.  Before the ride  there was this  boy who was cleaning up the bottom of boat from under the boat that is under water.  The sight was unusual but amusing and I couldn’t help but take a picture from  the phone.  The  short sail was  very beautiful with  oohs and ahhs coming from fellow  passengers. Another interesting observation is that  50% of Indian  couples are  honeymooners here.  After the  ride in the glass bottomed boat it was snorkeling time .  I took a 20 minutes swim and came back  satiated and hungry for more.   I had four of such trips  till I was tired.

 

The  first half was well spent, Snorkelling  is a fix which needs to be experienced.  You feel in the frame  to  draw a parallel- it’s like driving an open  jeep and  scuba diving is riding a bike.  You are in the frame.  My jest   for getting in the frame makes me  explore more   I guess and the more  I explore  I   find  there is more to explore.

 

Had plans to go to Radhanagar beach for the coconut fish at the Bare foot Resort but  was tired and after the  gulps of  Vodka and  the shower  I felt like sticking to rest.  Had vodka with  egg curry  and saw Sachin batting in form , thought he might strike a ton but he got out soon .

 

When I was going to my room I met the French couple who were staying in the same resort with two cute kids . I thought of complimenting their kids by calling them cute but it was hard to explain the meaning of cute to them. One my head was heavy with vodka and two it seems that they don’t use the word  normally.

 

The couple have two kids  one of them is by the name of   Machis whom I am   going  to teach cricket tomorrow  morning. The couple has been staying here in the same resort for a month now and have a content look. Once I found them clearing the beach of the bottles something that we cant even think of.

 

I just took  initiative and helped two Russian mermaids.  I like my initiative  streak.

 

Hand too much to drink in the afternoon watching India struggle against Sri Lanka and went to sleep  after Sachin got out.  Woke up late and toyed with the idea of going to Radhanagar beach for a jog  but since it  was late  I decided to hit the road  itself and a small jog of 22-23 minutes did clear my hand again of Vodka and  sumptuous lunch of egg curry and rice.  

 

Evening was for drinks at the  resort  with Dulal  the  owner of the place who  told me  that its  572 Islands and only 37  are  inhabited and also about the  famous  Coco Islands which are part of Andaman & Nicobar Islands but with  China  now with a airport at that place.

 

After couple of drinks with Dulal I went to a shady bar called EL Dorado  .Royal Challenge is for Rs 30 a small. What else can you ask for .Two babes smiled at me and I helped them in choosing a drink but soon they were joined by their male friends. Though later after the inhibitions were down I chatted with all of them for quite some time.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

DAY 5 BEACH SIDE BAY VIEW

 

  El Dorado was really cheap and good.

 

Woke up in the morning  and it was time  for cricket with Machis and Tiu.  I began  with customery and amusing   ‘Thank you God for cricket’ howl  on the beach (remember the “Beach”) and made Machis follow it who is a cute nine yr old with  mischievous  eyes.It was fun with cricket  on  the beach . Both the kids had  a  knock of hitting the ball.

 

Snorkeling followed in Bay  View reef which is now preferred  for diving.  It was  mesmerizing again  , at one particular spot there were so many colours on  the rocks which were opening and closing.  Violet, brown, sandy making a heady mix. The diver told me that they are clamps and if you put a finger inside it bites and then its difficult to get it out.  Machis  in the meanwhile seems to have taken a liking  for me and he was trying  to wave  at  me during Snorkeling too.

 

Snorkeling and cricket tired me out but I pulled myself to Radhanagar beach where the water had waves.  After  a  customery  dip  sat in the shade  as it was hot ended up disturbing the romantic moods  of a newlywed couple  who due to heat had decided to share my shade.

 

I decided to finally have lunch at Bare Foot. I had been sipping vodka at the beach and ordered one at the resort .I asked waiter if I could add my own sprite , he obliged not knowing that it was already spiked with Vodka.  I did try  to look cool by reading a book but seriously enjoyed it too.

 

.  The resort is nestled in middle of  jungle and it was known as  the Jungle Resort  earlier and everywhere you have to go  bare foot (that’s why the name) . Lunch was Thai red  fish curry which was delicious.  Rushed back after the lunch  as was  damn  sleepy, cricket  plus  Snorkeling  plus Swim plus  Vodka had done me in.

 

 In the afternoon  I dabbled will the idea of going to Radhanagar beach  or playing cricket.  Finally I pulled my frame and drove  to Radhanagar just  in time for a  short jog all along the beach to clear my head.  It was fun jogging next to waves where the sand is little firm and at times the waves try  to kiss your feet  and you dodge them every now and then.  The  sunset  was beautiful with sky bringing up hues  of red and yellow. Crimson  red  would be perhaps the   right  word. One old couple was enchanted  seeing me jog  and sad  hello , when I finished my jog.  I am sure the guy would have loved running himself.

    

        Radhanagar  a beach or beach number seven is a  long  elongated white sandy beach with the width around  two hundred metres lined  with thick tropical forest.  It’s an amazing view.  The sunset had clouds from one side like  space ships from the movie Flash Gordon which I saw way back as a kid.  To make the picture perfect there was a yatch just kept on sea for the purpose of making it picture perfect. I felt like taking picture but since neither  the camera nor the phone was not with me so had to  keep it in my memory only.  I sat there for a long time trying to savour   it.  There have been so many times when you feel that  your eyes were a  camcorder  capturing things beautiful. I can’t go on  to tell you the number of  times, as for me it’s a huge list .Simultaneously it is  unfortunate that no camera or camcorder can  capture the real beauty of a place or the joy that it gives you.

 

The venue has changed after two drinks and two rolls   I am now at Wild Orchid where the bar girl is a  beautiful dusky woman.   After the sunset it was time to head back home after  a Nariyal Pani.  The drive was a cool  one as I had just sweated out  started Vodka in my system.

 

While  coming  to  the Wild Orchid when I stopped at the only tiny local market to have  egg rolls the masseuse ,who works for Wild Orchid,whom I have met couple of times  offered to  take me along to beach at night .  I thought he made a pass  as his smile was a little crooked.  I managed to ask him plainly as what the plot was he but didn’t come out with his plan.  Any how he has told me that he will wait for me tomorrow night at the same place for the  some drinks , walk on the beach(with me) and gup sup .Eewh .

 

Well I am not here tomorrow.  Tomorrow after a early morning cricket session with Machis  and Tiu I am  off to Neil Island and  then to Port Blair.  My stay in Havelok has  come to end.  Next time, next  LTC it will be Diglipur  so that I travel  till Diglipur   by a sea plane & stay at Havelok too.Not to miss, I love a fascinating  tan .

 

       The bar at  Wild Orchid  has a smoking corner which gives eye a full view of sky above.  The clear sky of village or  unpolluted places always reminds me my childhood.  The bar closes early and I couldn’t  bear overhearing any more the conversation of the  two newly married couples in the bar  next to me where the men were  still  trying to impress  women and  women were trying to act happening by bragging of their escapades.  I reached home and I realised I stayed for four days at Havelok and not even once  did I switch on the TV in my room .

 

 

 

 

 

 

 DAY 6

 

Woke up next day and found Machis looking for   me for cricket.  Soon we, that is , Machis , Tiu his brother and I were on the  beach again playing cricket.  Must have played for half an hour   or so and soon it was time to go.

 

 The Havelok jetty looked very pretty  with  lot of birds hovering  around.  The cops at the entrance mistook me  as a foreinger  and asked for my passport and  pass, I had to tell him twice that I am an Indian.

 

It is like hour and half to Neil Island from Havelok.  Neil looked equally beautiful with equally clean water

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I was told that it has a population of just 4000 whereas Havelok had a population of 10,000.   I had  just a couple  of hours  at  Neil so the cab driver  took me to Rock formation , Laxminagar  beach  and then to Bharatpur beach.

 

  At  Rock Formation , a secluded  place deep inside  Neil, we startled  two gorgeous looking women in their two pieces  who  were frolicking in water without a care in the world.  With a customary  hello and smile we walked past and  repeated the same while getting back.

 

The Bharatpur beach was beautiful with very few people,  you could literally count them on your fingers .  It is a amazing feeling letting  your body  sink in the  crystal clear water and just to float and gaze at the  clear sky.

 

I was  tempted go for guided snorkeling at a spot which was a little distance away when it was praised too much by the guide saying that it is much more  beautiful than at the Havelok island.  He was right, the corals were little lower placed than at the Havelok and the guide showed a spot  for which I had to go down  by 4-5 metres to spot the lobsters among the rocks  and I succeeded in third attempt.

    .  Quick Vodka sips and a hurried  lunch of  fish curry and rice and I had to rush to, literally rush , run , to catch the ferry which was about to leave.  The sail back was fun with me trying to finish a book back in the backdrop of a couple of south Indian guys singing.  One of whom was a really good singer who kept all the passengers enthralled. The evening was spent with catching up with Jo sir at Port Blair.

 

 

 

 DAY 7

 

Day had a  mandatory trip to Ross Island, where to catch the ferry I again had to run.  I am getting tired of this running around business.  It was a nice morning with  a cool breeze. I settled myself in the ferry whose owner seemed  to be  stuck in a time wrap, where he has stayed  Kumar Sanu fan, which brought back teenage memories.  

You come across all kinds of people while travelling and otherwise too .  I was quick to help one very old lady escorted by  a relatively younger woman and family.  The relatively younger woman who had seducing eyes  of  a tease , reminiscent of her lucid past, did not lose any time to tell me that the old lady is mother of IG Police of Andaman.  I also did not lose any time to give her the look that if she speaks  more I might eat her bus ticket (Dev D )

Ross was beautiful like everything else here.  The first and  foremost thing which struck me was  the tactically  ,strongly built Japanese bunkers  which are still in good shape.  Ross Island was the place   where Britishers stayed during their stay it is now  controlled  by Indian Navy and  has a beautiful pathways which take you  meandering  through the  complete  Island where you get to see the ruins of  British Army’s Institutes and you cross path  with deers who are  are raised  here and move freely on  the Island.  

A mandatory trip to souvenir shop, a quick lunch in the Mess where  I curbed my introverted side and chatted freely with a lady on the meal table.

  Evening was for a visit to Cellular  jail and  the light and sound show.  The light and sound show was really worth  it.  I stacked up on history on India’s  freedom fight.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

DAY 8

 

Next day early morning was the trip to Baratang reserve which is a lagoon   famous for  crocodiless and limestone caves.  The trip takes you through the habitat of Jarawa tribes which one of the very few nomadic tribes left in the world.  There is one single road which is controlled  by police.  The vehicles move in a convoy  escorted    by police.  When you pass through the jungle, the habitat of Jarawas, no one is suppose to take snaps of the tribal people but who can stop the Indian fucking tourists.  I was quite sleepy so onward journey was spent in sleeping only.   Baratang was  a nice experience though it was very hot ,and to top it all Indian fucking tourist added to irritation by clicking  romantic and facebook snaps in limestone caves.

For many years now I have this  word  for  a class of India tourists, I call them Indian fucking tourist.  They have been following  traits :-

(a) They are totally inappropriately dressed, high heels in place like national    park.

(b) They are loud, very loud they all become Punjabis of Delhi.

(c) They all are interested in ticking one more   place that they have seen and not in enjoying it

(d) They are  interested in clicking their own picture in all kinds of poses, we are really high on vanity I guess.

(e) They have special knack of  making a place noisy and dirty.

 

Any how after I came in terms with my  irritation for Indian tourists it was a nice trip and on the way back to  Baratang jetty  we spotted a crocodile in the  river.

Afterwards there was this quick trip to the only live mud volcano at Baratang. On the way back from Baratang we got lucky we spotted the Jarawa tribes  on three different spots which is considered to be lucky enough.  Stark naked supple & strong bodies  with strong thighs and protruding bums, mark of a  strong tribe looking at us they way we look at them.  I also spotted one Jarava hunter taking back to his hut  a wild boar on his back.  Since he was alone I assumed that he would have killed it himself.

The existence of Jarawa tribe in midst of normal people like us is astonishing, a perfect balance is maintained though I am sure this too would be stage managed .  I believe the Supreme Court had some objection on this road which passes through their habitat .  God alone knows as to how  many years more they can survive or the government can manage to keep them alive.  Its akin to virgin sand dunes at Sam  near Jaisalmer which are kept barren for tourist attraction or the artifacts placed outside the shops on the main meandering road of Jaisalmer  town where the shop keepers deliberately keep them to get a antique look on them.

The evening  was again with Jo Sir  in Mess and I also managed to get his  bamboo ashtray for our binges which  now adorns  my room I am yet to write a story on that.

The trip came to an end.  My first  vacation  alone which never gave me a  reason to rue  over it.  The plane  took off from Port Blair. I sank deep in the chair, looked outside on the mesmerizing islands, closed my eyes, thought of myself scuba diving and thought its really a different world out there.





WRITTEN: 2012, After the Andamans Trip . I visited  Andamans in 2019 , by then the domestic tourism had skyrocketed , "I had grown older and you had grown colder "

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